I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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