you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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