And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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