What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
