marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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