I just made out with a guy for $7.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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