guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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