There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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