Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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