Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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