It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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