glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
