yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
