goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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