I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
