so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
birth control should be required to get into college
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
