hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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