is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
