I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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