Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
