I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
