When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
