i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
