she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
