what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
