No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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