we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
