I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
