you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
