Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
