and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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