If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
