I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's blow job season.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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