I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
