OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
