As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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