So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
