at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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