I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just google imaged poop.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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