Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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