Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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