Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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