I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
