fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
