Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
