She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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