Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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