Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
