she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
