also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
